The story of Prince Vincenzio and Clever Adele

Original play in 4 acts by Eliza Sarnacka-Mahoney




Beyond the seventh mountain or … not so far away

A long, long time ago or perhaps just yesterday

There was a fairy kingdom where fairy king and queen

Enjoyed their fairy living and raised a fairy prince.


Their son was extra special – a real prodigy.

His looks, his brains, his talents – as perfect as could be.

There never was another as gifted and unique.

His parents swelled with pride. Our genius wunderprince!


When we begin our story, the fairy king and queen

Are seen inside their castle as they jump, run and scream.

It’s prince’s 30th birthday. Tomorrow! On that day

The prince will be crowned king for such is the kingdom’s way.



Act I

Royal Reception Hall, two thrones in the middle, enter King and Queen    


The Queen (to a servant sticking her head from behind the throne)

The thrones must shine like diamonds. So spit and scrub some more.


(A cook passes by carrying a birthday cake)

You’re sure we have exactly thirty tiers on top?

Now what? What kind of pot roast? The best we have! Good grief!

What’s wrong with everybody? Don’t you know how to think?



Relax, my love. The party will be a great success.

My thoughts go elsewhere. They are unsettling, a bit strange.

Will our son Vincenzio …


Queen (dreamilngly)

Our genius! Wunderprince!



Well yes, but …is he … can he …  will he make a good king?


(both collapse onto their thrones and sigh heavily)



He still plays with his legos,



Sleeps until noon or more!



Forgets to wash his ears



Or worse — his dirty socks!


Vincenzio’s Godmother  (jumps out unexpectedly from behind their thrones)

The thing that he excels at is laying on the couch

Watching TV or playing the video games perhaps.



You’re here, my sister? But…But … The party’s not today.


Vincenyi Godmother

I heard you and felt summoned to offer you both help.


King and Queen together

But how?



At dawn tomorrow I’ll bring the prince a gift.



Oh, what a grand idea to make those flaws of his…



Though really, they are nothing. Sometimes we all err, fail,

It’s flaws that make us human.



What flaws? Speak for yourself.



In any case – I’m for it. You’ll move your magic wand

And prince’s imperfections will … vanish! Problem’s gone!




I’ll move my wand to have this self-centered mamma’s boy,

This good-for-nothing woosy you’ve spoiled beyond control …



King and Queen together

Don’t say that! He’s a genius!



… Grow up. It’s about time.

Or else we’re doomed. We’re finished.

This kingdom won’t survive!



Act II

(a city street with shops on both sides, nearby a sign for „Tom’s Deli”)



The sun is up next morning. Our prince, as always, makes

A dive under the blankets to signal to his maid

That he has no intention of getting up. Instead

He mumbles words that surely we’re not repeating here.


But oddly, the old nagger won’t let him sleep in peace.

Of all days, it’s his birthday! How dare she ruin it?

A wave of anger twisted his perfect royal jaw.

He stuck his head from covers. It’s not the maid he saw.



Hey you! Wake up! I warn you! I will not say it twice.

What is your name? I need it for ticket that I’ll write.



A ticket?



Yes, a ticket. Because I do not like

When people sleep on benches.  Especially in a park!



Park? Benches?



Here Vincenzio springs to his feet at once.

His eyes are now wide open. His jaw is on the ground.



You’re right. It’s not my castle. This bench is not my bed.

And you are definitely not my old, royal maid.

(hits his forehead with a hand)

I see… It’s all a setup. A birthday prank. How sad.

You’ll hang by noon tomorrow. Now go and fetch my car.



A car? Well, well, and maybe a valet, too?



Yes, quick!

I need my clothes, my breakfast,

My nails need to be clipped.



I say, you speak as if you have come from outer space!

You’re surely not a local. No ticket then. Instead

I wish you a good visit.



You mean – it’s not a game?

It’s not my fairy kingdom?



Oh, no! It’s Portland, Maine!


Portlandmaine, sounds so scary. But I pledge to survive.

I just must find some servants. Then breakfast. I am starved!

Hey, you there! Yes you, woman. I am a royal son,

I need someone to serve me: dress, feed, bathe, all that stuff.

Excuse me? Did you see that? She told me I was nuts!

Outrageous! This Portlandmaine is a barbaric land!


„Tom’s Deli”, it looks fitting.  I see both cooks and food.

Hey, servants, prince is speaking. I’m hungry as a wolf.


Cashier (behind a counter with a cash register on it)

What would you like?


Vincenzio (whispers)

He didn’t address me like he might

Your highness for example, so I will have him hanged.

But not before I eat. So

(turns back to cashier)  

Now, servant, I command

That you will at this instant bring me my royal brunch

Eggs, sausage, bread, potatoes. And coffee. And a cake.

Well … move! What are you doing?



I’m counting. And one cake.

You owe me thirty dollars and twenty seven cents.



What is this piece of paper?



A check you have to pay.



A check? But I’m a king’s son. I live and eat for free.



In your own castle – yes. Here we do things differently.



So what? – you will not feed me?



You pay — you eat. Or else.



I’ll have you hanged! Have mercy! At least a slice of bread.

I have no money. I will … die right here. Bye, adios…



But in this blackest hour not everything was lost.



I’ll pay for him. Poor fellow. He seems to be distressed.

Must be that he is having simply one of those days.



I’m in your debt forever, my lady fair and kind.

My name is Prince Vincenzio.



And I am Adele Knight.



Madame Adele I promise, this debt I will repay

As soon as I will see my royal treasury clerk.



You speak like in old books. Well, but if you need a job

Check out the papers. Meanwhile, I really have to go!



Escaping to a ball?



Wow, you really are a teaser!

I’m off to work, my prince. I am a third grade teacher.

This is no fairy kingdom. This is a modern world

Where everybody’s equal and everybody works.



You mean it? Every-body?



Up to a certain age.



Kings too?



Oh yes!



And princes?



Like everybody else.

As long as you are healthy you must earn your own keep

Doing what you are good at.



I want my mommy, pleeeeease!

Besides, I’ve no idea what I could do or be!



Whatever you would like. We all have our special skills

Today each child will tell you, be who you want to be.

Just don’t be scared to follow what lies inside your dreams.


(Song in Polish: „Kim będę” Misia i Margolci)*c5*9b+i+Margolcia+oraz+Agnieszka+-+1




(A shipyard can be seen in the distance. Closer there is a door with a sign „Bakery” on it to the right and a park with a pond to the left)



I said from the beginning that Portlandmaine sounds gross

It makes you think of pumpkins. Now, everybody knows

That pumpkins stand for tricks and they bring poor cooks to tears

One needs a saw to halve them, their flavor – so unclear!

Yet I’m doomed to this land now and all its pumpkin ways.


(sighs very loudly and opens the newspaper)

Employment. Page eleven.


(jumps to his feet)

A sailor needed.


To be a fearless pirate has been my lifelong dream!

Adele was right. I can work even if I’m a prince.



Vincenzio’s grief has vanished and he is on his way

To shipyard. He has even picked up a leaf and placed

It on his eye. An eye patch is every pirate’s pride.

He looks like…



Man, you look like a tomfool. What’s your jazz?



I want to get a job on your ship.



Then I must see

Your CV and referals.



My what?


Captain (spells out words as he writes them down)

He did not bring.

Your list of past employments?



But I’m a royal prince!


Captain (writes down)

He did not bring.

Now, how good are you at languages?



I’m great! How morning giorno von guten ling, fat bees!


Captain (writes down)

No foreign tongues.

So, tomfool. To show you that I’m nice

I let you be a deck hand. Here are your pail and brush.



Vincenzio took the items and found a place to sit.

He’s bored. He’s yawning widely. He quickly fell asleep.

He dreamt of wide, blue oceans, when something scratched his cheek.

It was the captain’s mustache. The captain bit his liups.



What are you doing?






I’ve given you a task!



I’m waiting.






For others to bring a deck of cards?



A deck of cards?



Well, didn’t you say that I’m a hand?



A hand for what?



For playing…



Can someone drown him, now!



It wasn’t even noon yet, when prince Vincenzio walked

The city streets again and searched for another job.

This time he found a baker who was in need of help.



It’s not a dream come true, but to roll out loaves of bread

Is something that a child could perform without a wince.



The baker was too busy to interview the prince

or check Vincenzio’s skills, so he hire him at once.

The prince is strutting proudly in his new hat and gown.

He had a grand idea.



To maximize the use

Of oven space the loaves must be very tightly grouped,

Like pages in a book they should sit one on another.

Who would have thought I’ll even have room for sweet baklava!



We don’t assume we need to explain what happened next

The oven coughed up vapors of smoke and then a range

Of various blackened pellets, or shall we say – black bricks.

The baker felt like pulling the hair, yet not of his

But of Vincenzio’s hairline. It was a sheer luck

That our prince has managed to save his royal life

After two pellets hit him right in between the eyes.

At noon he read the paper again.


Vincenzio (reads very slowly, splitting the words into syllables)

… A Genghis Khan

To coach weight lifting classes.  Dog walkers.  Tutors. Chefs.

Five pages worth of offers and simply nothing here!



But in this blackest hour not everything was black.



A courier needed. Perfect! I’m great at riding bikes.



Vincenzio picked up boxes from his new boss’s place

Put on his courier’s T-shirt and he was on his way.

First package he delivered going the speed of light.

The second – no so quickly, he rested in a park

And spent some time fly fishing. And then the third — he dropped

Into a nearby river.  It was too far to go.

He came back to his boss and demands that he be paid.

It was his lucky hour, boss had a broken leg

And with a cast he couldn’t move very fast at all

Before he reached Vincenzio, Vincenzio was long gone.


It’s early afternoon now. Our hero sad, forlorn

And lonely walks the city again. Again he stops

By the familiar window pondering his bad luck.

But in this blackest hour somebody had his back.



Vincenzio, you again here?






You’re working now?



Oh, no. I failed and crumbled on every given front.

Today I’m turning thirty, yet I feel like a child.

So lost and out of touch with what matters most in life.



You’re better than you think. Let’s put both our heads to work.



And so they did. Together they walked and they conversed

Until they reached the schoolgrounds.



Here we must say good bye.

I’ve only stepped outside to get some refreshing tea.

I’ve still a class to teach.



But…I can’t let go of thee!

That is, I meant to ask if I could be of some help?



As clueless as you are I’m beginning to accept

The fact that you indeed might have come here from afar

A tale of fairy prince who has wasted his whole life.

But life is known to dazzle, life loves to prove us wrong

You might know ways to help me control my class, who knows!


(Song in Polish „Gdyby do szkoły chodziły anioły”)



Akt IV

(In the classroom)



Now stop it! Stop it!



Dear, I warned you. They are wild.

It’s my last warning, Peter. Evangeline, sit down.

I am exhausted.



Listen. Why not try something else?

Let’s have a contest.






We’ll ask them to elect

A new king of that fairy kingdom you talked about.



Contests are awesome! Please! Please!



Look at them, they’re so… nice!


Children (talking through one another)

Where is that fairy kingdom? Let’s hope it’s far from school!

What happened to its king? Was he kidnapped by grey wolf?

Transformed into Darth Vader? Eaten by a T-rex?

Not T-Rex but a ranger whose shoes were painted red.



Oh, Peter, do you ever listen to what I read?



No, no. The old king’s fine. He’s not eaten, living still

In his own body. There is even a plan who should

Succeed him. But that prince was …


Children (talking through one another)

Kidnapped in magic woods!

Transformed into Darth Vader! Eaten by a T-Rex!

I know! He fell in love with a witch and ran away!



He’s fine too. But the problem lies here: he shouldn’t be

Meant for the crown for he’ll make a mediocre king.


Child I

What is it: mediocre?



It’s like with many things.




I shall explain the concept. A mediocre king

Sits on his royal throne but he does not rule, he gripes

That nothing’s as it should be, though never saying why.

Believing that his castle is all there is of world

And that his only purpose in life is to be served.


Vincenzio’s Godmother (appears unexpectedly above the scene)

He still plays with his legos, sleeps until noon or more!

Forgets to wash his ears or worse — his dirty socks!

The thing that he excels at is laying on the couch

Watching TV or playing the video games perhaps.


Child II

You met that prince?



Once. Briefly.


Child III

He knows that he’s no good?



O yes! He is aware now and quite embarrassed too.

If he could turn the clock back, he’d mend his sinful ways.


Vincenzio’s Godmother

He’d put away the legos? Wash well behind the ears?

Get up at dawn to iron his socks and pants and shirts?



If common good demands then even the underwear!



It never is too late to become a better man.

Our teacher told us.



Thank you for minding what I say!



So may the prince go home now and may he be the king

He knows he has inside him. A father to all things.



But there’s another problem. You see, that prince has found

A princess who has stolen his lonely royal heart.

He gladly would abandon his castle and his fame

To stay with her forever, even in Portlandmaine.



You ARE a prince? For real? This IS a fairytale?

No, no. I’m simply tired. I have been working late.



But in this blackest hour somebody had their back.


Vincenzio’s godmother (steps in between them)

Adele, I’m his godmother. And I am guessing that

Your heart is also beating a little faster now.

It’s me who brought Vincenzio to Portlandmaine to try

And make it on his own here. For sometimes you don’t know

Who you can be unless you get up after you fall.

I hope you see that even though there’s work to be done

He’s ready for the challenge, no crying for his mom!


King and Queen

(appear on the side above the scene)

But let me tell you, sister, how his mom cries for him!

How could you be so cruel to my sweet wunderprince!



I have a dream, like countless other girls in the world

That out of nowhere a prince will cross my path one day.

Bu to be harshly honest, I am a modern gal

I can’t live in a castle. The royal life is dull!


King and Queen

Who heard of such a nonsense? She has offended us!

Don’t worry, sweetie, we will find you a different wife!


Vincenzio’s godmother

Be quiet you two. Adele, I think it will be best

If it’s your prince that moves his castle to Portlandmaine.

And with it all the rest of his fairy kingdom. There!

The city has just gotten itself a renaissance fair!

Vincenzio will be giving tours around the park.



While I can keep on teaching and keep my job intact.



But about the contest?  Which one of us could take

The crown?



Each one. No problem. Come to the park and play.



The prince knew what he promised. Who played the tournament

Could win not just a crown but a plastic rapier.

And here, my dear children, we end our fairy show.

All ended well. Our heroes lived happy and lived long.


(Narrator is approached by Godmother who whispers nervously into his ear)


Have I forgotten something? The king and queen? Their what?

Ah, yes, indeed. So as I was saying, those two left

Upset and ate the prince’s birthday cake by themselves.

They took their thrones and put them upon an empty field

And sat there for three winters, feeling more and more ill

Because their hearts were broken. They missed their wunderprince.

One day they packed and also arrived in Portlandmaine.

We’re family, we should stick together! – they proclaimed.


Song „Misie Wiesia”