FALSE FRIENDS
THE REAL LIFE WITCHER OF NEW YORK
an original play by Marek Kazmierski
Featuring poems by
Aleksander Fredro & Stanisław Jachowicz.
LIST OF CHARACTERS
Pani WISIA Regulska – a Polish emigre based in New York since 1981
Karol Daniluk – a teenage boy whose parents have just moved to New York from Poland
Sam Smith-Kowalska – a teenage girl born in New York to Polish emigre parents
Polonia Teens (2-5 teenagers) – local teenagers all born to Polish emigre parents
CASTING NOTES – Pani WISIA can be played by a much younger actor, made up to look middle-aged – young people think of her as old, but in fact she is not elderly, but the same age as their parents…
SETTING / SET
[A local park in New York – centre stage there is a bench big enough to accommodate up to 5 people sitting on it – it is probably autumn, as this is the time when our characters have just started school after the summer break – so the set could be very colorful and vividly lit, to add to the sense of drama. A teenage lad is sitting on the bench alone, looking clearly distressed – this is Karol. A teenage girl the same age as him is walking by and stops next to him – this is Sam]SCENE 1
SAM: Hey there don’t I know you? You’re Karol, right? [speaks with a subtle NY accent]
KAROL: Yes, how is it you know my name? [speaks with a subtle Polish accent]
SAM: We go to the same school. I’ve seen you around. And I heard people talking about you.
KAROL: People speak about me? Why they do this? Why?! Just because I am new kid in city?
SAM: It’s OK, Karol, don’t get upset. It’s not every day we have a new student joining the school, arriving from the other end of the world. Yeah, this is New York, so many kids in our school are of Polish origin, like me – my parents are from Poland, though I was born in New York. You on the other hand are a real life Polak. This is big news.
KAROL: What other hand am I on? Real life Polak? People want me dead, is this it? They don’t like me really life and breathe? They want to crush me in hand?
SAM: Oh no, none of that! I was just… those are just phrases we use, nothing to do with you being dead or on anybody’s hand. “Real life Pole” means you really come from Poland – unlike most of the kids with Polish names in our school who were born in America to Polish emigre parents. We kind of have Polish roots, but it’s not a simple thing and we constantly have problems being understood by our folks, our teachers and priests, even each other. Where did you learn English?
KAROL: It is no good, right? What is your name? How do I call you?
SAM: You call me how everyone calls me – Sam. That is my name, Samantha. You learnt English back in Poland, before you came here, right? It is very good, considering you’ve never lived abroad before. We need you to practice. Maybe we can do a deal – you speak English and I help you improve – then I speak to you in Polish, and you correct me if I make mistakes. What you say?
KAROL: That sounds complicated. Sam? In Polish this word means “Alone”.
SAM: Yeah, I never thought about it. But you’re right.
KAROL: This means you are alone? Or this is name your friends give you? Or your really true name?
SAM: I’m not really alone, it’s just my name. My dad wanted a son, and was going to name him after his father – Sam, which is short for Samuel – so when they realized I was going to be a girl and not a boy, they decided to name me Samantha in honor of him anyway. I never met my granddad. He stayed behind in Poland when my parents escaped communism and came to America just before I was born, and he died before I could go and visit him. My dad really loved him, and he misses him a lot. He died of this thing called aneurysm. Blood flooded his brain, because a blood vessel burst and he died very quickly – we didn’t have to time to fly to Poland and say goodbye. My dad still cries about how he never got to say goodbye to him. Very sad.
KAROL: Flooded in a vessel – your grandpa drown in a ship or boat? He was sailor who lose blood?
SAM: No. Blood vessel is another way of saying big vein or artery. This broke and the blood escaped and got into his brain. You know brain?
KAROL: Yes, I am not stupid, you know. I have brain. Real Polish people have good brain, not just American brains are best.
SAM: No, again this is not what I meant. I asked if you know the word “brain”. But I think you do… This is why people find you unusual and interesting, Karol. Because we misunderstand some words, although your English is very good, we still don’t always get the correct meaning, and then kids, you know how they are, they make fun, they joke around, they pick on anyone they can – you’re new, you don’t have friends to watch your back, and even your name is wrong.
KAROL: My name is wrong?
SAM: Yeah. Carol in English is a girl’s name. In Polish it’s a boy’s name, I know that – Charles. But the kids here don’t know that, so they think it is funny you have a girl’s name – Karol.
KAROL: I no have girl’s name. I name after Charles Dickens, my mother’s favorite writer.
SAM: Well, maybe from now on we call you Charles. What do you say?
KAROL: Charlie. Charles. I love.
SAM: Well Charles, it is a pleasure to meet you. But if we are going to integrate you into our school properly and stop you getting grief off the other Polonia kids, we will need help. And I know just who to call. Pani WISIA [pronounce: veeshar].
KAROL: You have a witcher here in New York? A wise woman? She can do magic?
SAM: What? Witcher? No, WISIA. Her name is Wisława, but people call her WISIA, which is a shortened version of her full first name (like Charlie and Charles). I never thought about how it sounds like Witcher though. That is cool – Witcher in Polish is Wiedzmin, which means the One who Knows. And Pani WISIA is our wise woman – people often go to her for advice and for help when we have problems or disputes. She is our wise woman – she always has answers if people need help. I will call her. (SAM takes out a smartphone, takes some time looking for the number – and dials) Pani WISIA, hello, I hope I am not interrupting. Oh, you are at Lansky’s supermarket? OK. This is Sam. I am in the park, just down the road, I need your help. Could you walk past on your way home and give a little assist?
[A middle-aged woman walks along the path, talking on her cellphone, wearing dark clothing and a small hat. We realize it is Pani WISIA herself, carrying a bag full of shopping. She cuts the call and stops by the bench. SAM looks up and realizes who it is.]SAM: Pani WISIA! It’s like you’re always in the right place at the right time! We need your help…
PANI WISIA: Talk to me, child. Tell me the problem. [Pani Wisia speaks with a subtle hint of a Polish accent]
SAM: Pani WISIA, this is Karol. Charles. He recently moved to New York with his parents. He is from… which city are you from in Poland, Charles?
KAROL: My Dad is from Warsaw. My mom from Krakow. So I live in many places. Why you Polish and you speak English – why you not speak Polish?
PANI WISIA: You know the old saying: When in Rome, do as the Romans – we are in New York and if we want people to trust us, if we want Polish people to integrate, then we need to speak the local lingo, not Polish all the time. I need the practice too… Now, what seems to be the trouble? You seem like a nice kid, Charles.
KAROL: I no kid, I teenage, almost can drive and work and…
SAM: Charlie, relax. Pani WISIA did not mean to say you’re an actual kid – in America you can say “kid” to anyone, young or old, as a sign of friendship. It is a nice thing not an insult.
KAROL: This is how we speak to colleagues?
PANI WISIA: You recently moved to America from Poland? I think I see what the problem might be already.
[WISIA rummages round her handbag and pulls out an A4 sheet of paper – this sheet will be given out to the audience before the start of the performance – the sheet is a list of FALSE FRIENDS: words in English that sound the same as words in Polish but have different meanings – see the final page at the end of this document]SAM: Some of the kids in school have started to pick on Charles, the other Polonia kids.
KAROL: Dearest Madam, nobody pick me up. I am strong, I can fight, but the other teens they laugh at me. My clothes. My accent. My English. Why they do this? I am Polish, they are too. Sort of. Why they not help me?
PANI WISIA: Here, have a look at this [she hands out sheets to SAM and KAROL] – I use these when I teach my students English and Polish language. False Friends doesn’t mean people – it means words in English that sound the same in Polish, but have a very different meaning. If you use them because you think the sound the same so they must have the same meaning, you can get into trouble. Sometimes, people do not understand you but they know this, so they are only confused. But other times they think they understand you, but they are actually mislead, and this is worse. It is OK when people know they are confused, then they will not make more mistakes. The biggest problem happens when people think they understand, but are actually wrong – this is when False Friends can be misleading. Like when you said “colleague” just now, Charles.
KAROL: Yes. Colleague is the same in Polish as “kolega” – pal, friend, buddy, correct? You and me, Sam, are we now becoming colleagues.
SAM: Actually, Charlie, it’s not that simple. Colleague in English means someone you work with. Not someone who is your friend. “Kolega” in Polish sounds similar, but they do not mean the same thing.
PANI WISIA: Charles, let me ask you – do you think all American people help each other? Just because they have the same passport?
KAROL: Maybe yes? This is a big, strong nation.
PANI WISIA: Although we have a lot of very rich Americans, we do not all have access to doctors and hospitals – if you have no money, you don’t get medical help, American or not. You can be homeless on the streets of New York and nobody will help you – even though there are more empty homes in the whole of the US than there are homeless people, nobody wants to give them access to those apartments and houses. So when you think about the other Polish kids in school, don’t assume they will be your honest friends. In fact, think – why do they behave so angry? I always assume that nothing ever happens without a reason in life – in order to understand and find solutions to problems we need to simply think long and hard enough to find out Why something happened, then the answers come easy. Our brains work like computers – we just need processors which are fast enough and the right data in our hard-drives and then we can solve any problem. A person who reads a lot and is quick witted is like a computer with a fast processor and a big hard-drive – they can probably work out the solution to any problem – as long as they don’t make lazy assumptions – computers compute, they never assume. That is why we trust them so much. More so than we trust each other.
SAM: Pani WISIA, you are an expert in everything – computers too?
PW: What, you think only kids are good with computers? Years ago, before I came to America, in Poland during communism we had to build our own computers. There was no stores to go to and just buy laptops. You had to know how to build hardware and program software and make your own computers. This was why I had to escape. In 1981 in Poland we had threat of Soviet army invading. I was good at building computers and so the army wanted me to work for them – I refused to become a spy. And so I had to go into exile. Escape, never knowing if I would ever see my motherland again. I left Poland and came to America and I asked for political asylum. This is how I got my green card. Now I work teaching languages and I sell the cakes I bake, which is why I am happy – to be paid for talking to people and for baking cakes, this is heaven. I miss Poland, of course, but this is my home now – so much water under the bridge… I don’t make so much money as to be able to fly there often.
KAROL: What water? What bridge?
PW: Sorry Charles. I confused you. So much time has gone by since I last visited Poland. I am afraid of going back and seeing my homeland transformed. I shouldn’t be, but we are emotional folks, all the people of central Europe. We have passionate hearts. We worry too much, we argue too much. I remember one time in a Polish restaurant I heard some people shouting, using bad language and I thought I should go over and help them resolve their conflict. But then when I listened to what they were saying, I was surprised to find they were friends who were agreeing with each other, talking about politics and religion – you know how Polish people like talking of these things, especially when drinking vodka – but they were so happy to be having this conversation, they were very emotional and because of the sound of Polish language and the swear words Polish people often over use, it sounded like they were arguing – when actually they were in total agreement with each other. Americans often ask me – why do Polish people argue all the time? – and I then have to explain to them that it only sounds like that, because the language sounds a little more harsh than English, and they put more emotion into their speech – but this does not mean they are arguing, in fact it could be the opposite – they are having a very happy conversation – it just sounds like a fight.
SAM: Yeah, I never really know if my parents are happy or mad when they talk after dinner, especially when they’ve had too much wine. I need to improve my Polish – I have to go back to you, Pani WISIA, and restart our lessons. My dad refuses to pay you any more, when he says he can teach me himself. But it is not so simple – my dad is a builder, not a teacher, he knows Polish perfectly, but he is a useless teacher – just gets annoyed when I get my grammar or pronunciation wrong. Eh, I try to tell him not to shout, that it just stresses me out and makes me make more and more mistakes, but does he ever listen? No… it’s only once I start crying that he begins to calm down. So will you teach me again, if I find the money? I could come help you bake, or clean the house, or do your shopping. I know old people need help a lot of the time…
PW: Oh, how old do you think I am?
SAM: You are retired, right?
PW: Far from it. I am nowhere near retirement age, only fifty years old, but to you kids I must seem ancient.
SAM: Wow. Fifty is the same age as my folks. That is not that old at all. I thought you were like my grandparents generation.
PW: Well, it is interesting how what we see and think often depends on our perspective, on our point of view, on our own biases. We have to be careful before assuming things – when we use words we must not assume people think they mean the same thing we think they mean.
KAROL: I went to France for a student exchange program last year from Poland. I was surprised that everyone was always saying they are “angry” – they were always saying “ooh, I am so angry right now, I could kill a horse” and I was thinking to myself “Why do they want to kill horses, what makes French people so angry?”, and it was only later I realized the problem was with pronunciation – French people don’t always say the letter “H” – so they were saying how hungry they were, but it sounded like “angry” and so it took me a while to work out they just like eating and are often hungry – they just say it so it comes out as “angry”. And they were mixing up the saying “Hungry enough to eat a horse” so they talked about killing horses – which is very unusual.
PW: An excellent example, Charles. Our parents teach us how to speak, schools teach us how to write and read, but nobody teaches us how to listen carefully and accurately. This is a key skill – we focus too much on what it is we say and forget to make sure the people we talk to really do understand us. It is like my name – Wisława, or WISIA – it sounds like Witcher so people naturally think I am the Witch of New York, the old wise woman who knows magic solutions to problems, when all I actually do is think and listen more than most people. Which is where wisdom comes from. Not talking – listening.
[Suddenly, we hear the noise of some young people approaching from off stage, mixing English with clear American accents and bad Polish with strong American accents – these are the kids from Karol and Sam’s school, the ones who have been giving Karol a hard time – they appear from off stage, and stand near the bench, making fun of Karol]POLONIA YOUTHS: Hey, look there he is. A real life Polak. Straight off the boat. Big boy with a little girl’s name…
KAROL: That is it. I do not take this sort of talk. I am going to sort this out now.
[KAROL rolls up his sleeves and clenches his fists, clearly about to go over and start a physical fight. As he gets up, Pani WISIA gets up too and gets in his way. KAROL tries to go round her, but Pani WISIA makes some martial arts moves to stop him getting past, everyone stunned by her agility and her ability to handle herself. KAROL is unable to get past, SAM and the POLONIA YOUTHS are impressed with Pani WISIA’s ability to use martial arts skills to block Karol]SAM: Pani WISIA! You’re a real life ninja – where did you learn kung fu?
PW: It is not kung fu. More tai chi – some Chinese friends of mine taught me how to defend myself, in case someone tries to rob me as I walk in the park, so they taught me how to do some martial arts moves, not to attack, but to defend. They now run classes for local people, including pensioners, how to use tai chi for health benefits, but also to as self-defense. This is how people should help each other. We had a lot of robberies and burglaries round this district a few years ago, with many Polish people being hurt and losing money – did the Polish community organize any defense systems? Did the Polish community centre or the church do anything to support victims or train people to help them be healthier and safer? No, just more prayers and talking about the criminals going to hell. Which is crazy. Hell? If someone takes my phone or my wallet, I do not want them to spend eternity being burned alive – I want them to be arrested and punished and never do it again, but also do community service to help make amends for what they did wrong – but burn in the fires of hell forever and ever, well that seems too much for me. Much too much. Which is why I don’t go to church any more so much. I serve god by helping people – my church is my friends and my students and my community. Not just Polish. Any nationality, any religion – I do not care what you say you believe or how much money you put on the collection tray every Sunday in church – does god and his angels really need so much your dollars?
[THE POLONIA YOUTHS approach and start harassing KAROL, making snide comments, laughing, subtle things, no physical contact. It is clear KAROL Is ready to retaliate, and SAM seems scared. PANI WISIA can tell she needs to do something to resolve the tension. She digs inside her bags and pulls out two long Polish “makowiec” poppy seed cakes – one wrapped in cling film, bought in Lansky’s store, with fancy labels on it, and the second wrapped in a cloth, clearly home made not store bought. She gets up off the bench and addresses the group of POLONIA YOUTHS]PW: You lot, I know all your parents – they’d be shocked to see you behaving this way. And you don’t want me telling them what I am seeing here the next time I speak to them – they might be less generous next time you ask for pocket money or your Playstations. If you want me to keep my mouth shut, solve this riddle for me – which of these two poppy seed cakes is the better one?
[the POLONIA YOUTHS approach and study the two cakes and all choose the much lighter, store bought one. PW then hands the cakes over to SAM and KAROL to judge]PW: Now, you two tell me which cake you think is better. And you lot [addressing the POLONIA YOUTHS] why did you choose that cake as better than the other?
POLONIA YOUTHS: Well, that one is just wrapped in a rag, ain’t it. The other is from the store, so it must be better, better made. More hygienic and all that.
PW: Charles, what do you think?
KAROL: Well, I think it is this one [holding up the home made version of makowiec]. This one from the store is very light – they used a lot of flour, which is cheap, and light, but not much poppy seeds, which give the cake its flavor, not much icing on the top and no nuts sprinkled on it. This one, the home made cake, is heavy – so you know it will have more taste, and on top it has more icing and some orange peel and crushed nuts too, so I choose this one.
PW: A wise choice, and I say that not just because I made that cake. I sell my cakes for more money than the store, why? Because I use the expensive ingredients that give the cake it’s flavor. I bought this light cake in the store today because it was on big discount – why? Nobody wants to buy it because it is too dry and has no flavor. So I buy it not for ten dollars, but at discount for a dollar, and I will give it to the birds by the pond later. People not want to eat that, so the store wastes time and money trying to sell not so good cakes. But the bakery thinks it is being clever – because the flour comes from local suppliers and costs not much money so they put a lot of pastry in the cake, and not much poppy seeds, which is imported from Poland and is heavy so it costs a lot to buy. So they cut corners, making false economizing, and then nobody wants to buy the product, because they prefer to buy from me. My cakes cost much more money, but they have real taste and you never can buy them on discount, because I always have a queue of people who want them. That is why not all things from fancy stores or expensive delicatessen are good. You have to use your head before spending money. Often when things come in nice boxes, they aren’t nice inside, why? Because the nice box costs money and so it makes sense that the thing inside is then not so nice, because all the budget was spent on the wrapping, not the thing itself. And as for hygiene, I can tell you my kitchen is clean because I cook and eat in it – as for commercial bakeries? Their cakes come in tidy boxes and clingfilm, but do you think the workers care much about health standards? How much they get paid? Think… All the kids that come to my home for Polish lessons also like my cakes. They like the smells, the taste, the moisture – they always say my cakes are better than the stores, even better than the ones their mothers make. Because I know how to take time. How to put love into the cakes. And Polish mothers they have fancy houses in New York, and they have a lot of windows and shelves and floors to clean all the time and no time then to focus on baking really nice cakes – because why bother, when you can get them from the store. But this is a waste of money, not a saving of time. I don’t know many kids who help here with the cleaning at home – but when I was little, I had to help my mother with cleaning the house all the time. So when I could then go out and play or read a book or even watch a bit of television, this was a special time after all the hard work. Now, today, kids do nothing to help around the house, so they don’t know how to be responsible, how to be independent, how to clean and cook and shop – all they know is how to download more apps on their phone. But an app won’t do your homework for you, won’t make you money when you need pocket money for a date or fancy new shoes, won’t buy you that car you want for your graduation ceremony. Kids like you lot are not so much spoilt, not badly raised, you’re not actually raised at all – I tell all the parents I meet: “Raise your kids, don’t just look after them – discipline, responsibility, working together, this is real love, not just giving them happy fairytales and all the chocolate they can eat. That is not love, that is surrender.”
POLONIA YOUTHS: Pani Witcher, can we go now? You’re not gonna tell on us? Not gonna put any spells on us?
PW: Spells? What do you think I am – a witch? My name is WISIA, not Wiedzmin – not Witcher. How old do you kids think I am?
POLONIA YOUTHS: Less than a hundred. Probably.
PW: How many of you know your grandparents? How many of you spend time with your grandparents regularly?
POLONIA YOUTHS: Not me. Me neither. My grandparents are in Poland. Mine are dead. I never met mine.
PW: And I bet you don’t know many other elderly folks either. You don’t help out in old folks homes. Don’t help any elderly Polish women and men do their shopping or their cooking. A shame. That is why you think I am old, but I am no older than your folks. I have some grey hair, I just don’t bother to put color in it, to hide it. I like grey hair – shows me I am really alive a long time. And I don’t know any magic spells. I just know the value of words, of listening, of focusing on quality not quantity in life.
POLONIA YOUTHS: Can we go now, Mrs Witcher?
PW: Not until you apologize… Actually, no. I don’t want you to apologize to Karol just because I insist. This will not change your hearts, or your minds. What I need you to do is really think about what I said and then change the way you treat Charles in school tomorrow. Now you can go home, but first you must answer me a second riddle – who is more American, Sam or Charles here?
POLONIA YOUTHS: Sam, of course. She was born in New York. She has a US passport. Karol… Charles has only just moved here from Poland.
PW: Sam would be really American only if her skin was red – the true Americans are people none of us really know, the people who lived here for thousands of years before we white folk arrived here on ships from Europe. We, on the other hand, are a new nation of immigrants. Names like Smith and Johnson and Wilson and Cross and all the first names most of us use – Peter, Paul, Karen, Chris and all the other typical American names we think of as “normal” are not normal or native to these lands – they are all imported. Why is Sam called Smith? Because her parents adopted this name when they moved here – they are called Kowalski, and that in Polish means the same as Smith – kowal is someone working with metal, right? You think you are more American than your parents? You think Sam is more American than Charles because she has a little book in a drawer somewhere at home that has the words US Passport on it? That means nothing. America is a land of values that makes it special – opportunity, tolerance, freedom – those who make best use of their opportunities, who embrace diversity and use their freedoms for the benefit of their communities, for the benefit of their lands and the creatures that live upon them – they are real Americans. You kids are almost adults – maybe it’s time we as a community asked ourselves – did we raise you together into responsible, caring Americans, or did we all just sit in our own houses, ignoring each other, watching TV and thinking your education was just going to happen in school. Now, before you go, I have a poem for you. It is by a great Polish writer called Aleksander Fredro – did your parents read you this when you were little – Paul and Gall (Paweł i Gaweł)?
ALL: Oh yeah, I remember that one. It’s the one where these neighbors shoot each other. And one of them destroys their whole house. And then…
PW: Are you sure? Shoot each other? Destroy the whole house? This is a poem, not a Hollywood action movie – can anyone remember it word for word?
SAM: I can, I loved it when Mom and Dad read me those old Polish poems before bedtime… they used to give me gifts for memorizing poems. [SAM gets up and recites the poem – it is also printed on the back of the FALSE FRIENDS sheet which has been given out to the audience – in Polish and English]
Paul and Gall shared a single home:
Paul lived upstairs and Gall down below;
Paul, a quiet fellow, never bothered a soul.
Gall, his sole neighbor, he was crazy though.
Just stayed in his room with a gun, for real,
running, trying to hunt for his next mad meal,
seeing foxes, rabbits, he would hunt to kill,
jumping up and down, never keeping still.
Paul had to say something, in spite of the riot,
They were neighbors, right? Gall could not deny it.
“Sir, your hunting ways, can they be more quiet,
else might I suggest a less violent diet?”
But Gall screamed: “I will not be hassled!
I do as I please. My home is my castle!”
What was there to say? Paul went back upstairs,
going crazy now, pulling out his hair.
Gall falls sound asleep, he just doesn’t care,
yet, when he next wakes, trouble’s in the air.
Not just trouble – rain! Dripping from the ceiling,
Gall races upstairs, by Paul’s keyhole kneeling
sees a flooded flat, Paul perched on a shelf
with a fishing rod, smiling to himself.
So when Gall then cries: “Are you mad, by god?!”
Paul replies: “No sir, I’m fishing for cod.”
“Cod? Have you gone crazy? Stop this now, you rascal!”
To which Paul retorts: “My home is my castle!”
And so we learn something oh-so true:
As you do by others, they will do by you!
PW: Bravo, Sam. That was wonderful. Now, what do you think will happen to their home tomorrow?
KAROL: Well, actually – Gall only flooded his apartment, but soon enough his floor will collapse under weight of all that water and then nobody will have a home to live in because his floor is gone and Paul’s apartment downstairs is ruined too. Maybe all the walls collapse and the whole house go down. Disaster for everyone.
SAM: I always thought that Paul was too timid, like passive aggressive. If he talked to Gall instead of bottling up all his feelings, then it wouldn’t have come to this. And that Gall, maybe he is mentally and emotionally unwell. This poem is from a long time ago, like hundreds of years. They probably didn’t know about ADHD and hyperactivity then, but maybe he is really psychotic, seeing all those animals in his house? Maybe he needs therapy? Medicine? But instead of going with him to the doctor, Paul thinks it’s funny to go fishing in his own apartment. That is crazy too. I think this is a poem about Polish people. Like my parents – they are like this – my mother is quiet like Paul, because she is depressed, and my Dad goes crazy sometimes like Gal, because he is frustrated about his work. When they disagree, they can just stay like that for days, being angry at each other, instead of sitting down and eating a meal and having a chat or a cup of tea together. If those two, Paul and Gall, had just gone for a walk or a drink together, then they would still have somewhere to live tomorrow. But this way, yeah maybe Paul thinks he’s won now, flooding his own apartment and freaking Gall out, but come the next day, that floor is not gonna hold. The whole house collapses and everyone ends up a loser. So yeah, I think it is a poem about Polish people – about how they can be their own worst enemies, not all the time, but when they get angry or something happens to make them emotional, they don’t really know how to keep their cool – they just act first, and think later. Which is the wrong order to do things in. Sure, they always know best after things have gone to hell, and boy do they love lecturing each other after some disaster’s happened to their friends or neighbors, but never do they stop to count to ten and think before they jump to conclusions or decide to hit out or cut off or run away.
PW: Very wise words, Sam. Thank you for that. It just shows when we read things we have to learn not just how to read the words, but how to read between the lines. How to understand the deeper meanings. And here is a great poem which is also very old, written hundreds and hundreds of years ago, but very relevant to today. It’s called TEDDY by a poet called Stanisław Jachowicz [WISIA recites the poems off by heart]:
Once, a naughty boy called Ted
got an idea into his head:
that using a bottle with drops of honey
as a trap for flies would be really funny!
But his wise father gave Ted some sweets
then locked his bedroom, where Ted now weeps.
Trapped all day long, little Teddy cries,
until father says: “Now, how time flies?
Don’t go hurting those smaller than you,
And don’t do to others what hurts you too!”
[this poems could be printed in the performance program]PW: Now, off you go and discuss what you think that poem means among yourselves. This is a nice sunny day, and I don’t want to preach to you – I just want you to think for yourselves, to draw your own conclusions, to think your own thoughts.
US/PL YOUTHS: Thank you Mrs Witcher. Can we help you carry your shopping home?
PW: No, get back to your own homes and help your mothers cooking and cleaning. Oh, and don’t see those things as chores – think of them as pleasures. It’s one thing to be locked in your bedroom and not be allowed to go out – nobody likes being grounded, right? Helping people you love should not feel like some great effort. It should come easily. And before you pick on someone weaker than yourselves, remember what happened to little Ted and ask yourselves if it is better to start fights or spend time with friends?
KAROL; Thank you, Pani WISIA. If I can be of help to you, cooking or cleaning or any of that, just tell me.
PW: Hmm, and interesting offer. For who will help your mother around the house? I bet she has her hands full holding down a job, looking after the house, cooking for you and your dad. Maybe you could help me and SAM here could help your mum, meanwhile chatting in Polish, helping SAM understand the language better and learning more about what Polish people are like. Would that be a wise compromise? A win–win situation all round?
[Everyone except SAM is about to disperse, nodding in agreement, KAROL carrying Pani WISIA’s bags off stage. Sam stays sitting on the bench, and recites one more poem]SAM: Before you go home, I got one more poem for you all, from hundreds of years ago:
Imagine a boy who liked things that were slow,
even though his papa always lived on the go!
Imagine a king who was wise, not just rich,
and a priest who lived just as he preached.
A thief who gave all he stole to the needy,
a banker who wasn’t terribly greedy.
A lawyer with a heart as big as her brain,
And finally a poet who tried to explain:
But what is a fairytale? A lesson, a game!
For living and learning are both just the same.
[ALL ABOUT FAIRYTALES by Ignacy Krasicki] [Everyone disperses off stage, KAROL with PW]FALSE FRIENDS EN VS PL
confusing OR misleading – which is it?
affair (PL – “romans” / wydarzenie) afera (scandal)
communication (PL – wymiana informacji) komunikacja (communication, public transport)
consequent (PL – wynikający) konsekwentny (dependable)
eventual (PL – końcowy) ewentualny (possible / final)
fabric (PL – material do szycia) fabryka (factory)
colleague (PL – współpracownik) kolega (friend, buddy, pal)
ordinary (PL – zwykły) ordynarny (arrogant, rude)
nervous (PL – zdenerwowany przed czymś) nerwowy (easily angered or panicked)
pension (PL – renta) pensja (wages, salary)
receipt (PL – rachunek, kwitek) recepta (prescription)
recipe (PL – przepis) recepta (prescription)
rent (PL – wynajmować, płatność za wynajem) renta (pension)
specific (PL – ten lub ta właśnie) specyficzny (unique, odd, unusual)
About author:
Marek Kazmierski (born 1973) a writer, editor and translator, specializing in literary translations from Polish into English. Joint winner of the Decibel Penguin Prize and sole recipient of the BIKE Magazine Philosopher of the Year award, Marek is also the managing editor of a prison literary magazine Not Shut Up and founder of OFF_PRESS, an independent publishing house. His work has been published in numerous journals and titles, including The Guardian, 3AM Magazine and Poetry Wales. This book was translated during his residency at Villa Decius in Krakow, Poland, courtesy of The Polish Book Institute.
